Myths

Myths about rape

MYTH: Rape usually occurs at the hands of strangers in dark alleys at night.

REALITY: A Home Office survey into reported cases of rape showed that only 8% of rapes were carried out by a stranger. (British Crime Survey 02/03). Of the remaining 92%, 45% were current partners, and the rest were acquaintances.

MYTH: Only young attractive women are raped- it couldn’t happen to me. 

REALITY: It can happen to anyone - male or female. It happens to people of any age, class, race, ethnic origin, sexuality and religion.

MYTH: “They must have wanted it to happen- why didn’t they call the police or leave home?” 

REALITY: There are many reasons why people do not tell anyone what has happened to them, or do not leave home to escape domestic sexual assault. They may be afraid of not being believed and that people will think badly of them. They may have nowhere to go, their children or family may be threatened, they may be afraid of splitting up the family. The thought of going through the trauma attached to reporting to the police and attending court can frighten many preventing them from telling anyone.

MYTH: “She asked for it, wearing those sorts of clothes & make up and acting the way she did” 

REALITY: A woman may dress to appear attractive and fashionable, but rapists do not look for victims who dress in a particular way. They target those they perceive as vulnerable. Rape is usually about power and violence and not sexual gratification. Assuming that women provoke attacks by what they do or the way they dress is victim-blaming. No person, whatever their dress or behaviour, "deserves" to be raped.

MYTH: A person who has really been sexually assaulted will be hysterical. 

REALITY: Victims of sexual violence exhibit a spectrum of responses to an assault. Theses can include calm, hysteria, withdrawal, anger, apathy, denial and shock. Being sexually assaulted is a very traumatic and reactions vary with each person. There is no “normal way” to react.

MYTH: Support from family members is essential to the victim's recovery. 

REALITY: Positive emotional and practical support offered by family and friends will help a victim. However, sometimes the people that a victim relies on behave in unsupportive or negative ways. This can include worrying more about themselves than the victim, blaming the victim, withdrawing from the victim or behaving in a hostile manner, and attaching a stigma to the rape and demanding secrecy from the victim.

MYTH: You can tell a rapist by the way he looks. 

REALITY: Rapists are not physically identifiable. They may appear friendly, normal, and non-threatening.  They may be young or old, married or have children.

MYTH: Rapists are abnormal perverts; only sick or insane people rape. 

REALITY: In a study of 1300 convicted offenders in the US, few were diagnosed as mentally or emotionally ill. Most were well-adjusted, but had a greater tendency to express their anger through violence and rage.

MYTH: Women and girls make false and malicious allegations of rape against innocent men. 

REALITY: Although little reliable research has been done into false allegations of rape, it is commonly held that figures are no different than for false allegations in other crimes.

Remember:   The British legal justice system is based upon the principle that a person is innocent until proven guilty. In order to prove a case they may need to undergo an intimate medical examination; they will be asked questions of an intimate nature by strangers i.e. police officers, doctors, barristers, judges; they will often have a long wait before any court proceedings start; and when they do start they will have to ‘re-live’ their experience over again. Many women once they realise what they face, choose to withdraw the complaint. Others withdraw a complaint of rape, as they fear reprisals from the attacker, particularly when it is an acquaintance. (92% of rape is by an acquaintance).

Choosing not to proceed with a complaint does not make the original allegation false!

MYTH: Women can significantly reduce the risk being sexually assaulted on nights out. They just need to ensure their drinks are not spiked. 

REALITY: Drinking itself, and not drink spiking, may be behind the vast majority of drug rapes. Of 391 victims who gave samples within 12 hours of an assault - when alcohol could still be detected in the samples – 56% of victims had consumed enough alcohol to be deemed drunk, with at least 150 mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood. While some victims may have had their drinks spiked with sedatives, excessive alcohol consumption plays a more significant role in sexual assault than previously thought.

MYTH: Gay men are more at risk of rape than straight men.

REALITY: This view compounds the common belief that rape is about sex. In gang culture (predominantly male) rape is sometimes used as a weapon to control gang members as well as defeat and humiliate other gangs. Soldiers have been instructed to use rape to defeat opposing sides. Straight men will rape other men to feel powerful.

MYTH: Prostitutes cannot experience rape. 

REALITY: Those who work in the sex industry are more at risk of abuse, sometimes due to the attitude of those who use the service. Working in prostitution creates an extra barrier to reporting, and a significant number of prostitutes are trafficked into the job which includes other forms of abuse. 

Myths about Childhood Sexual Abuse

MYTH: Children are not always innocent. In some cases of child sexual abuse the child may co-operate in the activity, and in some cases assume an active role in initiating the relationship.

REALITY: This myth is based on the Freudian concept that children are “seductive”. Sometimes children, to gain love, attention, may appear to initiate the relationship. In a child’s world, adults control most of the resources and know all the answers. The abusers enforce secrecy and if they threaten the child or someone they love, the child may not question the abusers power to carry out the threat and so comply with any abuse.

MYTH: Sexual involvement with adults does children good. The experience probably enriches the lives of children and prepares them for future relationships.

REALITY: Children because of their emotional immaturity, cannot understand adult-child sexual contact or predict the consequences.

MYTH: Sexual abuse committed by boys is not as serious as that committed by adult men.

REALITY: Children are damaged by sexual abuse whoever the perpetrator is.

MYTH: Child sexual abuse is mainly found among lower class families

REALITY: Child sexual abuse occurs in all classes and every culture.

MYTH: Child sexual abuse is the consequence of family dysfunction. That is, the family does not function properly because one or more of the family members do not perform their natural role.

REALITY: This is a way of placing the blame on the family, rather than on the perpetrator of the crime. Frequently the blame is put on the mother, which may inhibit the child from seeking the mother’s help.

MYTH: Child sexual abuse is cyclical. That is, incest is normal in some families and passes from generation to generation.

REALITY: This is an attempt to normalise the crime of sexual violence against children.

MYTH: Children tell lies about sexual abuse to gain attention.

REALITY: There is little evidence that many children deliberately make false allegations or misinterpret appropriate adult-child contact as sexual abuse. In the small number where children appear to have made false allegations, it has usually been the result of manipulation by an adult.

MYTH: Counselling women who claim they were sexually abused as children may do harm as it reawakens old memories/suffering and may lead the woman to “remember” things that did not occur.

REALITY: Women come for counselling as a result of having remembered incidents in their childhood. Person Centred Counselling is a method of listening to what the counsellee is saying, not of suggesting false memories. Once counselling has begun, the woman is likely to remember incidents and feelings that she had previously “buried” as a coping strategy. The idea of “False Memory Syndrome” denies the reality that many children are abused and detracts attention from that reality. This prevents many children and women being heard and supported.

MYTH: Someone who has been sexually abused as a child is likely to go on to become an abuser as an adult.

REALITY: This is perhaps the most damaging myth of all for survivors of childhood sexual abuse who fear they will harm their own children. The reality is that some one who has been sexually abused as a child is no more or less likely to go on to abuse children as an adult. In fact one piece of Canadian research showed that 40% of convicted child molesters were abused as children themselves……that’s 60% who were not!